PACO 603: Pre-Engagement Counseling Plan: Deployment Assignment, 7/26/2026

Pre-Engagement Counseling Plan:

Deployment Assignment

Joo Won Lee

PACO 603: Premarital and Marital Counseling

July 26, 2026

     The couple met when they were both in high school at age 18; they both attended a local public high school here in L-City, K-State; fast forward 8 years now with each at age 26, they have been dating for eight years now. Each expressed that the rather extensive time they have been dating has strengthened their relationship in positive ways. Along the way like any other couple, they did have to figure out ways to make things work when in conflict, but the longer they had been dating the more trustworthy and collaborative bond they had been able to build between the two.

     The relationship has been strictly local since the time they met until now; they have always lived in the L-City in K-State. They have never left the state. Obviously, they both feel good about it since it has provided stability and constancy in their relationship.

Being of same age provides them the feeling of camaraderie; there is no issue as far as generational gap in sociocultural upbringing, worldviews, or family values and so on. On the major issues they are on the same page.

     The young woman is currently in grad school working on her master’s degree, and the guy is a full-time professional. Each attended a local college here. The woman is the youngest child, and the guy is the oldest in his family; although the guy said that the birth order didn’t impact their relationship at all, the woman said that the guy was more of “an older brother” figure to her, being able to take care of her while she was struggling with her health issues early in their relationship. To this day the woman feels gratitude to him for that. They guy has gotten his master’s degree, been a full-time working professional for several years, and he is the one who takes care of their bills when they go out and eat or be on a date.

     Unfortunately, they are both unreligious, that is they don’t have any religion/faith of their own at the moment even though they both had been casual visitors to church at times. They are both neutral toward possibly accepting Christianity, leaving the door open, and  I think that I can work with the young woman hailing from the same Korean American cultural background. The guy is white. The racial background of each has not had any significant/negative impact on their relationship at all. Actually, zero per them. They are both full Americans, being born, raised, educated and all that—and there has never been any issues in that regard. They both have a bunch of close common friends dating from high school years, and it has strengthened their relationship.

     According to the woman, the three problematic issues are 1) work and career; 2) health and wellness; 3) finances. She is still a student, so she feels that the guy is feeling the burden of “footing the bills” for both of them. And even though she has largely recovered from her health issues to the point where she has started her master’s study, she still feels that it is a potential issue. She’d like to get a full-time job as soon as possible once she’s completed her study.

     On the other hand, the guy feels like 1)personal and marital goals; 2) roles in marriage; 3)health and wellness are the potential issues. They both expressed that there are really no discernable issues in the relationship. They have been dating for eight long years, and you don’t get to this point unless you have worked out any major problematic kinks in your relationship. The guy feels like that the expected gender roles once they get married would still need to be worked out down the road. There could be still some conflicts arising from the personal and marital goals once the marriage becomes a reality.

     The woman feels that the finance and health & fitness to be her two top worrisome issues; she has a history of health issues so that also remains an area of concern for her. And finance part always looms for any young couple.

     The guy feels as though the personal & marital goals and health & wellness to be the potential issues; he feels as though the personal & marital goals would still need to be worked out down the road. There still remains a lot of uncertainty surrounding it; they could relocate to somewhere else or how many kids they would like to have and so on. The health of his partner still remains an area of concern for him.

    When I asked them about the prospect of possibly having a biblical counseling at their disposal, the woman had some quizzical looks. She didn’t want it. She felt as though everything is going well in their relationship so that she wouldn’t have to be counseled by a Christian counselor whose faith she doesn’t share—yet. The guy left the door open, however; there could be a possibility if they start developing some major issues between them. Then, he would consider it. However, he said the likelihood of that happening remains remote, next to nothing since their current relationship is rock solid. And nothing would upset or sabotage it. From the look of it—I have known this couple for several years now—this is a very committed, rather deeply committed loving couple. They are like sweethearts—both the woman and guy are first rate individuals. I wish them nothing but the success and happiness.