[Leadership] Discussion post: "Leadership Lessons from Life" (100/100, 5/7/2025)

Just letting it go...

I think that the aspect of forgiving and loving someone/some individuals when he/she/they deeply injured you would have been one of the greatest crises/obstacles which I myself faced and did NOT readily overcome and triumphantly conquer thus far in my journey of having become a type of person, a leader that I am today. I would honestly think that many people in my life  would describe me as a “great guy” (pat on my back) for sure whatever that means. Perhaps “great guy” means that I am witty (sometimes), or even funny (at times), kind-hearted, generous, patient, considerate, cooperative, et al. Probably. That is a generalization. Well, I would bet that the generals, foot soldiers and the rest of followers in king Saul’s army would have described the insecure flawed monarch as such with hyperbolic claims and grandiloquent expressions while in hot pursuit of David’s precarious life. Or the Montagues and the Capulets were the law-abiding best citizens in Venice all unto themselves, respectively.

However, while dipped in a crisis, to turn my other cheek after one good slap across on the other side already, and say, “God, they not know what they are doing. Please forgive them.”? Wouldn’t have always worked for me, I assure you.

Being is one thing but doing is yet another.

Our Lord said, “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even the tax collectors, do they not do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Even the Gentiles, do they not do the same? Therefore, you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:46-48, NASB.) Truthfully, I may not even have the faith the old Jewish tax collector followers did have while the Lord was shepherding them. SIGH…Sometimes every little slight intended or unintended, cutting in line, unruly manners/crowds, unfounded road rages, slow information processing, etc., make me flustered and irritated. Not to the degree of being hateful, cussing out or denigrating even but not loving nor understanding enough, certainly, you know. After all, I am still a colloquial great guy and remain civilized and all that in stressful situations where my tempers would be tested and put on trial. However,  nowhere close to being perfect as our Father in heaven is. Doing perfect deeds is a tough act to keep at.

The authors reminded us, “What a promise! Your relationship with Jesus is built on the truth that we love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). When you choose to set aside time to be with God, you will come to know Him better, the foundation of your relationship with Him will grow stronger, and you can come to more fully accept and more completely abide in His unconditioned love.” (Blanchard, Hodges & Hendry, p. 90.) Furthermore, the successful execution of the Greatest Two Commandments hinges upon the selfless love we should bear out to the road raggers on the highways, the unmannered line cutters at marketplace, or (let’s not forget) even extend it to the crucifying Roman soldiers who already beat me up and burnt my back with scorching whiplashes, the commanding centurion, and the high priests and conniving Pharisaic sect. Right?

Let’s not forget the insulting crucified criminals to my right and left either. I should also act benevolently towards them. Except for Satan and his minions, I presume, we should never spare pouring out the overflowing fraternal love from our fountain of eternal joy and grace—all while on the brink of dying from the most gruesome execution performed on a human being with hands and feet pierced with long nails. It is even hard to breathe at this point due to the hypovolemic and traumatic shocks which are about to take over the consciousness as it will momentarily bring to expiration of a flickering life within (at the exhale) exhaling the last breath. And I’m completely innocent. Guiltless. Sinless. Can’t even cry out, “why me?” No falling back and immersing myself in tear-jerked self-pity and a sense of extreme victimization? How did He do all that…He is my Lord and Savior, the Lamb of God.

Not too many people will love their family and friends as much as I can love back with zeal and devotion because I too have plenty of love reserved for them; as they say, I can give back a lot of love to my close allies since I had been a recipient of the same in plenty from them in first place. I have been blessed and fortunate. And I’d like to give back if and when able to.

In closing, let me tell you a story about a certain S. Korean pastor nicknamed “Atomic Bomb of Love” for his unbelievable act of forgiving and loving; his name was pastor YangWon Son, and the story took place during the Jeju Riot of April 3^rd, 1948, which was incited by the North Korean communist regime sympathizing rebel soldiers of the South. Through the spreading riots to the neighboring towns, these Marxist rioters were able to forcibly occupy a certain middle school in SoonCheon City where two sons of pastor Son, DongIn Son & DonShin Son, were attending. At the school, the two middle schoolers often evangelized to their classmates and condemned the communism. The rioters got a wind of the actions of the two sons, arrested them, and in cold blood executed them. Later, pastor Son gathered the dead bodies of his two sons and buried them. The Marxist rioters were soon defeated and most of the perpetrators were captured  by the South Korean Army and the Police Forces which were sent to defeat them—among the captured alive was the killer of the two sons. However, unthinkable turn of events took place in the aftermath. Through unbelievable act of forgiving and loving, pastor Son decided to forgive and adopt the very rioter who executed his two sons. For the rest of his life, pastor Son treated this killer of his own two sons as if he was pastor Son’s own son, and never showed any trace of bitterness, anger, or hatred. Amazing story. Pastor Son actually thanked to God on many an occasion for an opportunity to give glory to God as many listeners could turn to God upon hearing the story.

Pastor Son's family prior to the devastating tragedy

The authors wrote, “Good carpenters and good leaders must be willing to be both lifelong learners and lifelong teachers,” (Blanchard, p. 176), and I pause and reflect there. Yes, I have a lifetime to learn and get better at this as I am honing my leadership skills. I have never faced any situation as grave, desperate, helpless, undeserving, sad, or shocking as pastor Son did.

The Bible gave us an assurance in that “No temptation has overtaken you except something common to mankind; and God is faithful, so He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” (1 Cor. 10:13) Amen. I am still waiting for my waves of dire crisis to arise and overwhelm me in sea. Hopefully, I will have a faith of size of mustard seed so that I won’t sink to the bottom of ocean as I navigate through the rising tempest in the middle of intense turmoil and self-introspection. I will look at my inner soul, my faith, as I gaze intently and redirect every fiber of my being to my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ for strength, consolation, and rescue at the end. It is written, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26, NASB)

[Reference]

Blanchard, Ken and Hodges, Phil, Lead Like Jesus Revisited: Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2016.

**My reply to a post by someone named Aaron,

Hi Aaron, thanks for your post. Your mention of “military” caught my eyes since I feel as though I’m an honorable army chaplain in my current job since a significant number of a group I minister to are the former servicemen from the US military forces. And as I’ve gotten to know these men of faith better over the past year, I’ve found them to be men of honor (no surprise there), measured, reserved, punctual, and ready to execute and do their job. One can describe the Baptists in similar ways, I guess J Absolutely; legalism has no place in our faith, as apostle Paul wrote, “For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from works of the Law.” (Romans 3:28, NASB.) I’ve found out a long ago that whichever  a set of great accomplishments we might have made, it would still fall short of “a perfection”, the gold standard set for us to emulate by God.

Well, I don’t want to denigrate or put any particular religion on the spot, but on the heels of having the first American pope ever elected in Rome earlier, let me please mention this: isn’t it the Catholicism/Catholics who put a premium on doing good works in our daily living? Such as doing a charity work or making alms to the unfortunates/down and outs in our neighbor and so on? And make a big fuss about it, yet they don’t necessarily keep the commandments and live the life according to Scripture as prescribed? I’m making this statement since I fully know what most Catholics are up to despite the fact that among them are many individuals who are  ethical and morally upstanding citizens whose sandal laces I’m not worthy to untie.  (Well, I have two Catholic converts sitting in my ministry, who confessed that “(Catholicism) they let me do whatever I wanted to,” When I butted heads with some traditional Neo-Confucianists they also mentioned the fact that we Christians have many failed pastors in particular, which brings disgrace to the whole Christianity and makes our faith untrustworthy  whereas they (the Confucianists) adhere to the strict code of conducts, which are mostly honorable and respectable by worldly measurements. Really? I know many Confucianists who are borderline criminals, if not the convicted ones.

In closing, I’ll “cherish the Old Rugged Cross, till my trophies at last I lay down; I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown…To that old rugged cross I will ever be true, its shame and reproach gladly bear; then He’ll call me some day to my home far away, where His glory forever I’ll share.” And this aligns with what apostle Peter, the first elder/bishop of church of Jerusalem wrote, “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” (1 Peter 5:10, NASB.)

Regarding giving/charity work, Howell wrote, “First, God’s abounding grace provides them with the ability to give generously (2 Cor 9:8-11a). Second, the recipients then overflow with thanksgiving to God for such generosity (2 Cor 9:11b-12). Third, God is then praised, and the gospel commended. (9:13, 15) (Howell, p. 263) Joyful giving with gladness and truthfulness is ideal as in everything else, not for a performance/show (Cf. Mark 12:41-44).

PS. All the best and success to your chaplaincy.

[Reference]

Don N. Howell Jr, Servants of the Servant: A Biblical Theology of Leadership (Eugene: Wipf and Stock, 2003), 296.**

**My reply to a post by someone named Derek:

Hi Derek, thanks for sharing such an intimate story in your life with us. To be honest with you, as I was reading your post several thoughts just whizzed by my head in its initial stage, and an array of feelings was brooding inside, you know. “What is this guy thinking? Why have an intimate relationship with one’s wife if pregnancy is not an option?!” “Who’s to blame?!” “Immaturity on display?!” ETC. Apologies if I misjudged the situation incorrectly in my little head.

My wife and I remain childless after having 3 miscarriages early in our marriage.  The three miscarriages happened so fast, one after the other…At first we were both hurt by the turnabouts, obviously, my wife being more upset, and I myself spent some reflective days, weeks and months searching for answers. Those ultrasound pictures of your 8 weeks old fetus baby really stick in your head for a while, you know…I always wanted a child. At least one or two. My mom was deeply disappointed too, and my dad who always wanted me to have a kid asap, would have been mightily disappointed as well, but he was already gone to heaven by the time I got married.  

However, in the end I and my wife, being mature individuals, both have come to terms and accepted it. More than anything, eventually it has brought both of us closer together as we find ourselves spending more time together. My wife and I actually do a lot of things together now as it was during our honeymoon phase—ministry work is one of those things for sure. And in some not so unclear sense/ways it has freed me up so that I could go out and continue doing what I immensely enjoy doing, which is (playing and) coaching tennis to my students. Surprisingly, there are quite a few couples in our lives who are also childless too. We never bring it up, talk or discuss about it, but in a weird way it is a strangely comforting thing to know.

As they say all is well that ends well; you’ve done a great job rearing up your beautiful daughter with your wife. As Scripture said, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Psalm 127:3, NASB). And let’s insert it right here, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4, NASB). Well, my wife and I would never have an opportunity to provoke our own biological children to anger since that was the lot which was dealt to us. However, as someone mentioned it to us a long ago, now we have an opportunity to have a million spiritual children through our ministry whom we can bring up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. With love, kindness, care, grace, patience, prayer, and watchful eyes of the Lord guiding us through the process until the day He returns.

In spiritual relationships, we are all brothers and sisters to one another bonded by the Grace of God, who has forgiven our sins through the sacrifice of Lamb of God in Jesus. As Timothy Paul Jones wrote, “God’s calling does not end with the rehearsal of the gospel in our own households, though. The proclamation of the gospel that begins in our households should spill out beyond the confines of our homes, into our communities, and then to the uttermost parts of the earth. (see Acts 1:8; 2:39; 26:20). And it all begins when parents begin to see who their children really are.” (Jones, p. 79) Amen to that, and long live the God’s kingdom as we evangelize to the world so that we will fish more children of God into it where only the likewise least on earth may enter it. 

[Reference]

Timothy Paul Jones, “Family Ministry Guide”: How Your Children Can Equip Parents To Make Disciples”, (Indianapolis, Indiana: Wesleyan Publishing House), 2011.**

**My reply to a post by someone named Keith:

Hi Keith, thanks for your very interesting post, and I must say that I read it with great interest. I am glad that through it all your innocence was proved, and you had been exonerated  through the stressful trial God put you through. You came out of it shining brightly like the stacked gold bars from the Bullion Depository in the Federal Reserve Bank at Fort Knox. PTL!

The (potential) negative thing is that once a rumor starts, it picks up a pair of wings all unto itself, and spreads like wildfire or bubonic plague. The skepticism still could linger on long afterwards. Well, I can kind of relate to your situation in that there was an instance where some people with myopic vision questioned the stewardship of my own (educational) monetary funding, not knowing that 1) I wasn’t the average typical graduate students they used to know (mostly living on limited budget); 2) I really worked very hard for whatever I had gotten; and as a result & God’s blessing I had been successful in my chosen career(s) prior to my calling. (I could dispense it any which ways I saw fit glorifying my God in the end such as making a small affordable donation/payback to an academic institution); 3) I had at least 20 years of head start on building my wealth?/portfolio compared to most people they interacted with day in and day out; 4) I’m normally frugal and I plan my spending wisely; when I (generously) give to church for example, it is because I love giving to church in pure love for God, (not because I had extra money idly sitting at home to give away); 5) when it comes to managing money/stewardship of finance, I’m on top of things. There is nothing to worry about from all sides concerned. I’m doubtful whether those very people long realized the truth I just related to you, but in the end God’s Holy Name would still be exhorted and lifted high in ultimate honor and glory we pay homage to moving forward.

Ironically, along my own journey of discovering the truth and unveiling in my Christian living thus far I’ve also realized that there are other kinds of people (with impure intentions) too in our very church, religious organization, etc., who often preach even at the pulpit that are in reality nothing but a pack of ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing in that they prey upon the kind generous giving heart of the people to take advantage of. We’ve all met these kinds of predators before. To me they are no more than a band of highway robbers and thieves if you get my drift. I am not merely talking about the ultra-rich false prophets pertaining to Wealth/Health Prosperity gospel preachers. Those offenders are easy to spot from miles away.

I want to be careful here as I write more, but to me “joyful willing” giving with gladness in heart is at the heart of giving. (Cf. 2 Corinthians 9:7) as we all know. YHWH lamented over the ceremonious nature of giving, “Does the Lord have as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than a sacrifice, and to pay attention is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15: 22, NASB.) And the passage from Malachi 3 regarding the tithing, “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” is one of the most misused and abused passages in my opinion. In particular, South Korean churchgoers are known for their exuberant regular offering including the strict adherence of regular tithing and seasonal giving. That is where I often butted heads with members of my own family over the years; in my view they have been “conditioned” and “brainwashed” into doing that.

As I said, I emphasize the spirit and truthfulness when it comes to offering. The same argument is applicable to all parts of our faith living; when I am in joyful mood to praise the Lord & to pray to Him, that is when I’d like to volunteer to have our family prayer meeting to be held, not out of “habits”, you know. Don A. Howell, Jr  wrote, “Finally, the glory of God and the edification of the believers are the complimentary aims of the entire (voluntary offering) project, beautifully set forth in a doxological chain of events. First, God’s abounding grace provides them with the ability to give generously (2 Cor 9:8-11a). Second, the recipients then overflow with thanksgiving to God for such generosity (9:11b-12). Third, God is then praised and the gospel commended (9:13, 1 5). Fourth, God’s people become united in prayers of thanksgiving for God’s grace…” (Howell, p. 263.) Amen. Every single point makes a good sense and I’d like to spread it around—only if they are willing to listen. “Those who have ears to hear, hear,” as our Lord said.

[Reference] 

Don N. Howell Jr, Servants of the Servant: A Biblical Theology of Leadership (Eugene: Wipf and Stock, 2003), 296.**